Wal~Mart: Cast of Characters

Recently I got a job working the produce section of Wal~Mart.  These are the people I have met so far.  I wish I was creative enough to make this stuff up.

Rebecca – A 50 year old woman who is dating a retired 70 year old man who has a bunch of corvette’s and spends his time showing his cars at car shows.  They met at chemotherapy while both their previous spouses were dying of cancer.  Rebecca is cross-eyed, talks very softly, and has a bit of a hunch back.  She’s very nice and friendly to me.  Rebecca believes the men who work produce think they can boss her around because she’s a woman.  She’s been at walmart almost year now, and works to clear away the boredom from being single.  Although, she spends most of her free-time between her boyfriend and her daughter and grandchildren.  She is very proud of her grandsons and daughter.  She is a chain-smoker.

Ed – The dirtiest old man in the world.  Swears all the time, often flirts with the women he works with, making semi-obscene comments on occasion.  Has threaten to “kick my a**” on multiple times.  He does it in joking though.  At least I hope so, because I could easily take him.  He is roughly 357 years old.  Catholic.

Don – The second dirtiest man in the world.  Loves to stare at the behinds of women who walk by.  Enjoys joking around, but feels he is watched closer because he’s black.  My favorite moment with Don is when he decided he felt like a slave, so he stopped looking people in the eye and addressing customers as “suh” (sir).  Advises me on how to easily get laid regardless of how many times I tell him I’m not looking for that.  Has often stopped working and waved everyone over to check out a woman.  Goes to the restroom a lot.

Alex – Although married, often flirts with the various women around Wal~Mart and tells me all about the tons of women who want to go out with him.  Been working for 7 years; claims he was never promoted because he’s Mexican.  Originally from McAllen, Texas.  Likes to slack.

Amanda – A butch lesbian in a relationship with a married woman.  Amanda has been there 2 or 3 months but already feels she is the boss of Wal~Mart.  Encourages me to hurry up at every given chance.  Often tells me stories about how hard it was when she first started.  She would work alone and is slightly bitter at the advantages I have.  Amanda never went to college, although she is only 25, and looks down at school slightly.  Lives at home still.

Lucia – My favorite so far.  Lucia has been working there for a month or two.  She is originally from South Africa, and has a thick accent.  Lucia is kind, friendly, and rarely talks bad about anyone else.  We get along great.  She is a hard worker.  Motherly.

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One Response

  1. You should be very thankful that you have a job with such interesting people. You’ll be able to write for years to come about these experiences.

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